Last night

So all my bags are packed and I'm ready to go....NOT.
Actually not everything is packed lah. I'm currently doing my last batch of laundry. At 1.30am in the morning what the heck.

My sleeping pattern has been crazy all week since holidays begun. Take today for example, I went to bed last night at 11.30pm, woke up at 4.00am, went back to bed at 8am, woke up 2 hours later, at 5pm I had a nap again, and woke up when my friend called me at around 6.30pm. And now at 1.30am in the morning. I am wide awake.

Call me Veena the owl. hoot! (OvO)

My last night sleeping at this house! In fact most of my stuff are already packed and my room is looking very depressing now. Like a jail cell. Except maybe for the bed. I got into this crazy fight with my landlady this morning. It wasn't pretty. And not a memory that I intend to keep so I'll be brief. She demanded that I pay her my full rent up to January. I simply told her I am so sorry but I have no money left and I'm going to take my things and move. ( I am leaving tomorrow anyways) And to cut the story short, she didn't like it. And she and her husband sorta yelled at me. Called my dad in the end. My dad told her to stop harrassing me or he'll call the cops.
Anyways. yalah. not my fault also!

Housemates couldn't agree better that dragon lady (thats what we call her) is a pain in the a-hole. heh. I have the best housemates! ♥ So lucky to have met them all. Especially Crystal! Dunno why it was like the moment I moved in we just started to talk and couldn't stop. LOL. Such a good good friend she is! And where can you find someone who can finish your sentences and vice versa. Very rare I'd say.

Sweet times! From that random 'sunday runway project' ( project epic fail case, blog is dead after only 5 posts, and I forgot the password for the twitter account wth), to all that complaining and gossiping we do in the kitchen, the time we got locked out the house and sat there waiting for the keys to arrive, the skyping with each other ( in the same house wth) oh! and that time when we attempted to get drunk in my room....but just to let you know we didn't get drunk at all, (see, such angels we are!) ...instead we ended up on facebook and gossiping about other people and laughing at their misfortunes. HAHA.


So here's to Crystal! Or Mien as I call her. at times. :)
Thanks for being such a good friend/housemate. Love yah to bits and it will be a shame if you leave next year because me is going miss you 'terribly a lot'. ( I think thats a grammatical error, but I can't be stuffed fixing it heh) But I HAVE FAITH you'll be here next year because with brains like in that head of yours, I just know that universities will be begging you to come to them! haha. If only I had half your brains for chemistry. Then maybe I could actually pass my chem paper -___-

Have to say the best times spent in Perth staying in this house. Someday when I'm older with my 9 cats in my lap (choi!) I'll think about times I spent at this house, smile to myself or maybe even burst out laughing. Rest assured I'll get sent away to an asylum. But at least I'll be the happy old lady in the asylum right. wth. HAHA.

Certainly going to miss all the times in this house.
Just maybe not dragon lady. heh.

'I'm a freakin' virgin!'
-crystal cc mien-

Forget what I said previously.
My parents are
self image-appearence-weight obsessed
physcos.

But if mom and dad don't like the way I am,
Who I am just does not matter.
I am nothing.

Perth

TEE is all over now, school has ended, and like it or not, my journey here this year is coming to an end. Time seems to pass by so quick, yet so slow.
What can I say for all the 300+days I have been here. Expreriences never gone through, so many mistakes made, so many lessons learnt. Never have I felt so alone.
I must say this year wasn't an easy year for me. In fact I have to be frank, it was hard, difficult. Leaving home for the very first time, dealing with things that I wasn't ready for. Crying myself to sleep countless of times. Praying and asking God when will all this be over. I felt like a bird that was born in a cage and suddenly set free. I was lost.
My first day of school, I don't remember at all. It is as if I erased it completely out of my memory. I won't want to try remembering it either. I wasn't used to that sort of enviroment. It was as if everyone spoke in some foreign language that I didn't understand. What drove me to wake up everyday for school I still don't know.
I remember not laughing. It was so painful, I thought I had lost my ability to laugh.
School was the least of my problems. I was now living by myself. Back home, I took forgranted that I didn't have to do laundry, didn't have to plan meals, didn't have to shop for groceries, didn't have to pick up my own mess.
Then there were the tests and exams. I have never studied for anything so hard, and yet, get such lousy results. Over and over again, test results came back, telling me that I wasn't good enough.
My problem with my body, unfortunately didn't go away. So much for all that effort of dieting and exercise. I gained like double of what I lost. Truth is maybe I didn't actually lost all that weight because of diet and exercise. I think, I only lost weight because I was chucking up everything I ate and when I stopped doing it, I stopped losing weight as well.
Which made it even worse when my parents came to visit because mom was like YOU ARE FAT in my face 24/7. Like I chose to be fat like that.
Despite all that, I really want to thank God for putting me here. He sent me so many angels. To help me. To guide me. I would have never experience such great love from Him. People here in church are far too kind. Never have I seen so much of God in some people. From the way I see it, their faces just glowed with God's love and grace. And for friends like that, I have to say, I am truely blessed.
Lessons I have learnt this year. Countless.
Too many to list them all here. But perhaps the most valuble lesson I learnt this year, is that I don't have to be any better to be accepted, to be loved.
No I don't have to be the top student in school to be accepted. Who am I proving to?
No I don't have to be the thinnest to be accepted. Why would I want to have friends who only befriended me because I looked thin?
And although I sometimes still think I don't deserve this sort of Love from God, I am trying, to give my best shot at everything for Him. And to love my body, because this body of mine is a gift from Him and I should care for it and not harm myself.
With just a few more days till I go home, I must say, I am going to miss this place. Whatever may happen next year, whether I get into Uni or not, I leave it up to the Big Guy above. I only hope I will be able to cling on to Him and maybe show that love of His to other people I come to contact with.
Goodbye Perth. And till I see you again next year.

Yesterday was binge day.

McDonalds:
-Chicken Deluxe: 400kcal
-Soft Serve: 200kcal
-Large orange juice: 110kcal

-Muffin: 100kcal

-Loaker wafer cubes: 500kcal

Dinner:
- Stereotype Australian chinese food: 400kcal

- That few spoons of ice cream: 80kcal

In total: 2100kcal.

woot!

maths oh maths.

*calorie values are based on mere assumptions of how much calories they tasted! hahh!

When you're dreaming with a broken heart,
The waking up is the hardest part.

I want me piano now.

smile and look to the sky.
with no more tears in your eyes.